I fall asleep at inopportune times. I was hoping a self-diagnosis of narcolepsy was in order, but reading about it makes it clear that what I have isn’t that severe. It’s more like I get uncontrollably sleepy at theaters or in slow meetings. Pretty much 80% of the time I go to a movie, a play or other dark room event I end up falling asleep. I can’t control it. Now that I’m married, Brangien gets to watch me (as happened 2 nights ago) fall asleep in the front row of a friend’s one-person play. David, if you’re reading this I really enjoyed your play … even though I took a series of naps while you were undoubtedly looking at me in the front row. I nod off at the majority of movies I attend even though I love movies. I once slept through most of Terminator 2. I have a particularly hard time around the hours of 1pm-3pm and 6pm-11pm. I have twice fallen asleep while a lawyer was talking to me about contracts that very much involved my best interests. I truly can’t control the sleep. It feels like a chemical molasses suddenly entering my veins and there’s no fighting it off no matter how hard I try.
I bring all this up because people notice me sleeping at events and I wanted to throw up a post to say publicly that it’s not a comment on your play, or your musical performance. If I have to sit down and watch a performance, there’s a good chance I’ll take a nap no matter how awesome the show.
Brangien’s uncle Mac graciously described me as “binary” as I fell asleep while he was talking to me in his car. My brother Greg calls me C-3PO based on the scene in Star Wars where Obi-Wan first takes Luke and the droids back to his hideout and C-3PO says, “Sir, if you’ll not be needing me, I’ll close down for awhile”, and then proceeds to instantly power down.
I wish there were a name for this thing as it’s plagued me forever. For now, call me …